Doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment.
–Oprah Winfrey.
As I mentioned in the previous article, my oldest son and I made a contract to study, which worked great, but with my second son we did two contracts but none worked. Study time continued to be a fight time between us and books remained at school.
To help my second son to study without having to fight that much I had to make some changes. It is not a exact formula, but I feel that all these changes have helped us study more and fight less.
What do we did differently?
1. Set our goal,
Every day that we study, I remember him «the sooner you make your homework the faster you will finish it.» Thanks to this, now we have more days on which he finishes faster than before.
2. Unconditional Love.
One day I lost my mind and get real mad with my second son, I told him «From now on it will be better if you study with your dad.» This did not help me at all, my son end up crying and the study time get harder. However the next morning I understood what I should say, so in the way to school I told him «I will keep studying with you, forgive me for what I said yesterday, if do not end up your assigments in school we will finish at home and we will study UNTIL you finish.» I wanted to prove my unconditional love, regardless the situation was.
That day when he got back from school, we study until 10:00 pm the next day until 9:00 pm and the next until 7:00 pm, ie until he finished study. Suddenly one day my son surprised me by saying ‘Today I will finish studying first thing my brothers.’ Despite he still finished last, it was only five minutes after the brothers. It was a super progress. Thereafter, sometimes he delayed to study, but as he already know, we’ll be studying until he finish. Now, he strives to finish fast.
3. Time to grow up.
I keep remembering him to do his best at school to finished doing the work. On the way to school I make sure to repeat over and over, when I say goodbye ‘Do you best, I love you.’ I know we are on the right way because a few days ago we were studying and he said «Mommy! we are fighting less at study time.» and to my surprise he brought all of the books to study «Mommy! I brought everything we need to study.»
So, if your son gives a lot of trouble at study time, show your unconditionally love (try not to bother) and study until finished. I feel this was an important part even when my son was running around or playing, I was sitting waiting and sporadically reminded him: the more we delay, the later we finish.
At times he forgets some books or notebooks, but has gradually been improving. I’m happy because he is striving to improve in the same way as I strive every day to be a better mother.
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